My Two Cents on Fifty Shades of Grey Book Series

Friday, January 23, 2015

Yup, I read all 3 of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy by E. L. James.  Well, not really read, it was when I tried an audiobook membership with Pretty soon after joining I downloaded 50 Shades, how could I resist? And then immediately had to listen to 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed. Which just should have been entitled 50 Shades continued and continued some more; because really, it's all just one long book. But never tediously long. No, quite the contrary, to my horror, I too fell in love with these simple characters and didn't want to let them go.

For me, the books take me back to a life I left behind about 15 years ago. Not BDSM!  I'm referring to Soap Operas and Romance Novels, was weened on them, starting from age 12. And 50 Shades of Grey just plays off of all the same themes - If Christian and Anna were on a soap in the 80's early 90's, they would have been called "A Super Couple". These were the characters that we saw through thick and thin, ups and downs, presumed deaths, possible pregnancies, jealousies, intrigue and delightful, over-the-top romance.

I can't say anyone on Guiding Light or As The World Turns had a "Red Room" exactly, but I've certainly read romance novels with plenty of "Kinky Fuckery" as Christian calls it.

Many news magazine pieces on 50 Shades, condemn the book for having an older man seduce a virgin and introduce her to a dark, sinfully sexy world.  First of all, Christian is 27 to Anna's 22.  Secondly, no matter how erotically written the sex scenes - and I've gotta give it to E.L. for her wonderfully descriptive language when it comes to these passages - It's still not dark. It's not intense or brooding or sad or scary or edgy or sick and depraved.  It's just romantic rubbish and kinda stupid, but really delicious!

Why, oh why, did I never write down any of my fantasies, so that I could be sitting on a pile of money and fame now!?! It's not very hard to imagine a handsome, capable, sexy man showering you with extravagant gifts, taking you to 4 star restaurants, falling madly in love and best of all - be a sex-pert!  And when I say that, I don't mean a player who's been with so many woman you want to shine a germicidal blue light on him before even holding hands.  I don't mean somebody with 5 different baby mammas, or someone condescending to you in bed or too intensely demanding. Christian Grey isn't any of these things, E. L. James got it right (write) he may be 50 Shades of F*!%ed up on some levels, but when it comes to sex and intimacy, he's perfect. He takes Anna from steamy sensuality, to raw, hot intensity, to playful naughtiness, racy games, total abandonment, then to loving tenderness and back again.

That being said, I can in no way call these books a brilliant piece of literature. They are not particularly clever, there's no unexpected twists and turns, or elaborate plots. Anna is supposed to be an English major, but her inner dialogue is repetitive and often obtuse. I really can't see much difference between 50 Shades of Grey and anything else based in romantic nonsense - However, seeing this book sweep this country and many others, gives me a sense of validation for spending my formative years lost in such escapist drivel. And pathetically, feeling a pull to return.

While You're Here - Post Update (2/15/15)

I've now seen the movie - Here's My Review! 


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is about discovering what I find pleasing in screening & eating - in case you missed it, the name is a play on Tinseltown using the Tines of a Fork.

Feel free to send me info on a film or new restaurant you'd like me to highlight.

Will there ever be a cap on movie prices?

Will we one day pay $20 a pop?

Why don't we pay on a scale?

A crap movie like everything Adam Sandler has ever done should cost about $4.50.
Big action movies like"Lord of the Rings", "Iron Man," "Transformers" are worth $10.
Woody Allen movie or something like "Silver Linings Playbook" $6-$7.
A chick flick or light comedy $5.75 and most Indie Films $5.25.

You could even do it by seasons - all summer block busters from May to August - $10
Sept - November 15th $3.50 - $4
Back to $10 for Thanksgiving and Christmas etc...

Or you can do it by A Actors ($9 - $10), B Actors ($6 - $7) TV actors on the big screen ($3.50 - $4)

Surely I'm not the first person to realize this makes sense. Has it been voted on in the Motion Picture Industry and then vetoed? If so, why?
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